Remember the old adage about what happens when we assume?

And yet we do it SO often—especially when people aren't performing well or doing as we want. We assume we know why John or Carla did what they did.

The truth is that it's often easier and quicker for us to assume motives and assign blame. Of course, in the long run, this is very, very expensive—dollar-wise, time-wise, and culture-wise.

It's easier than you might think to get to a real conversation and solution.

Next time you have some concerns about a team member's performance, you don't have to jump to the assumptions—you can learn what's really happening by following this conversation approach.

1. Let the employee know you have "some concerns" (but don't name them yet) about the work itself (be specific: XYZ project/process/client).
2. Ask the employee if they've noticed anything concerning about XYZ. (You'd be surprised how often they have—and it may or may not match your concerns and understanding of what is happening.) 
3. LISTEN openly and attentively to what they say. Repeat back to them key phrases or summarize their statement to make sure you understand.
4. Let the employee know you have concerns about ABC (for example: timeliness/client satisfaction/cost/group dynamics/project success) you have. Don't highlight their individual involvement or work—keep it high level and focused on ABC results.
5. Ask the employee if they know why ABC is occurring.
6. LISTEN very closely. (This one can be hard! The more you can keep your brain's assumptions at bay, the more you'll hear.) Don't listen with an intent to reply—listen so that you could correctly explain their thought to a third party.
7. Then ask yourself (silently :)): Do they have legitimate reasons that you haven't considered or investigated? Are they owning up to their role in the issue? Are they blaming others?
8. Ask the employee what they could do (or if they were in your shoes, what they would do) to keep ABC from continuing to occur. You may also need to ask how you can support them in keeping ABC from occurring—what resources do they need?

By following this process, you'll gain a much better understanding of the problem itself. (You'd be surprised how often a key detail didn't make it to you yet!) And instead of approaching it with an assumption and blame, you will have empowered and enlisted your team member to help you solve it—strengthening rather than short-circuiting your culture.