What to know about gossip at work

Gossip is undermining and diminishing. It erodes trust, damages reputations, kills focus, and excludes team members. It’s incredibly detrimental to any organization.

When we at Choose People talk about this with teams, everyone nods. We all get it. Yet—we continue to gossip. Why?

It’s not because we’re bad people. Or because we want to be mean. And it’s not just because we’re bored.

It's because gossip is often the quickest, easiest way to emotional intimacy.

When teams don’t have healthy, intentional ways to connect, they default to this age-old shortcut. Gossip creates a fleeting feeling of alliance and safety.

So if you want to understand how to stop gossip in the workplace, it helps to first understand why it shows up in the first place.

The top 4 reasons people gossip at work

1. Belonging: People want to feel included

If someone thinks they’re being left out of important information, they’ll feel like an outsider. And in most workplace cultures, information is power.

Gossip becomes a way to “catch up” and feel included. It signals who’s part of the tribe—and who isn’t.

2. Fear: People crave reassurance and validation

Insecure team members often compare themselves to others to figure out if they’re doing okay—think of it as workplace benchmarking.

But here’s the trap: the only way to “win” that comparison is to see the other person as somehow less than. And that’s where gossip creeps in.

3. Intimacy: People are desperate for connection

Real-deal, authentic communication is in short supply. So people turn to gossip for a quick hit of emotional closeness.

The secrecy, exclusivity, and hint of judgment involved in gossip feels like bonding. But it’s a sloppy substitute for meaningful connection—and ultimately raises trust concerns: “If they’re talking about others to me, are they talking about me to others?”

4. Identity: People want to work with capable peers

If someone on the team isn’t pulling their weight, or simply doesn’t feel like a culture fit, gossip fills the vacuum where direct communication and accountability should be.

Team members may not want to be a “narc,” so instead of speaking directly or involving leadership appropriately, they talk behind backs. And the longer a performance issue goes unaddressed, the louder the gossip becomes—and the more divided and dysfunctional the team gets.

How to stop gossip in the workplace

Gossip thrives in silence and separation. But here’s the good news: you can turn the tide.

If you’re ready to break the cycle of gossip and replace it with connection, collaboration, and trust, here are two great places to start:

• Check out our top recommendations in 4 Ways to Reduce Gossip at Work
• Or jump right into our Speed Connecting Activity—an easy, energizing way to build genuine relationships and break down silos fast.

You’ll be amazed how quickly the gossip disappears when people feel seen, safe, and supported. Here's to that—and here's to you for making it happen!