If this is a common refrain in your organization, consider its roots. Why would your team suggest they’re treated like children?

Common reasons include:

• Micromanagement
• Lack of transparency
• Lack of trust on how they get their work done
• Regular questioning of their judgement
• Regular questioning of their intent

When we feel like someone is condescending to or patronizing us, we feel like that person thinks we’re stupid. This is a morale killer because it’s offensive both to our identity as well as to our dignity.Team members want you to believe in them. They want you to believe:

• They can handle the job
• They’ll ask questions and seek help if they can’t
• They can handle hard news
• They care
• They are giving you their best

The hard truth? How you see your people is how they see themselves in your organization. They will live up to your expectations. If you don’t believe in them, if you see them as irresponsible or incapable “children,” lackluster results will be your outcome. The reverse is also true. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Think about how you feel as a team member. Knowing your boss trusts you, believes in you, and counts on you creates tremendous personal pride. Pride is powerful social super glue for retaining top talent.So how do you get there?

• Acknowledge the truth with your team. Admit if you have held back hard news. Own if you had a filter through which you have seen your team based on a prior mistake or person who has left the team. Tell them if you wonder (based on your knowledge of the product and processes) why productivity isn’t higher. Your team knows this already—and now they know you do, too, they can move beyond it.
• If you’re a cynic, pessimist or self-described “realist,” give your people the benefit of the doubt. Believe in your people until they give you hard evidence not to—and say that out loud regularly. Believe in their capacity. Set high expectations and assume they are sharp, committed, and tenacious. Pro tip: Think about each person on your team individually. Would you treat them differently if they were no longer your direct report but your peer, your colleague, your teammate? If so, you’ve just figured out exactly where to adjust your behavior to show them you believe in them.  
• Try out Nordstrom’s One Rule: “Use best judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules.” And don’t forget that’s followed by “please feel free to ask your department manager, store manager, or division general manager any questions at any time.”
• Keep your employees in the know and harness their shared wisdom. Include them in the inner circle of organizational knowledge. Be transparent. Also seek their help. Ask for their advice, suggestions, and recommendations.
• Be a stand for their success. High-five when they go above and beyond. When they struggle, speak to them directly and promptly—using kind, candid and constructive communication. 

Remember, they can handle it.